Schüler Say the Darndest Things: Advanced Cuts

I've mentioned before that my students are hilarious. Many times, their humor can be appreciated by anyone, but some of their jokes are more subtle. The more you know about Austria, the funnier they get.

Topic: Austrian History

Me: "Why did the United Nations decide to put buildings in Vienna?"
Student: "Because they liked Kaiserschmarrn?"

[True story. It's a little known fact that Kennedy and Kruschev were finally able to solve the Cuban Missile Crisis after sitting down for a plate of this:

]

Topic: Healthy Eating

Me: "Who is fat in Austria?"
Student: "Häupl."

[Michael Häupl has been mayor of Vienna since 1994, and is basically the Austrian equivalent of Mumbles Menino. He looks like this:

 ]

Topic: The New TA

"Do you know who you remind me of?" a student asked me. "Who?" I replied. "Her!" he said, showing me this picture on his Handy:

[It is, I realize, 100% true. I sound quite a bit like the German Dori, not only in pitch, but also in my mannerisms and ways of speaking. Whether or not I look like a two-inch blue-and-yellow fish, though, is another question.]